Silver linings.

After having toyed with the idea for six or seven years, in May 2005 I attended an introductory meeting for nurses interested in emigrating to the US and finally made the decision to give it a go! Got started on the process which was estimated to take between two and two and a half years.

Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork! It seemed to never end. Got a job offer from a hospital in central CA. Medicals, bloodwork, telephone interviews. Lost that job offer when the hospital group changed ownership. But we kept going. Studied for, wrote and passed the NCLEX exam in June 2006. In October 2006, we heard that emigration processing had speeded up and there was a chance that we'd get there sooner, much much sooner. Like within six months - yippee!! More paperwork. Took the IELTS exam for English proficiency. Got a police clearance. More paperwork. Finally, in January 2007, the emigration attorneys filed my I-140 application, the second to last step in the process. When the I-140 is approved, you get a INS priority date, meaning you are in the home stretch - just a consular interview to get through and finally, that Green Card will be yours.

Time passed and we waited. The news was that processing time seemed to have slowed right down again, people were waiting longer now, much much longer. Like EIGHTEEN MONTHS from the issuing of an I-140 to getting a priority date, a wait that used to take max 4- 5 months.

A few days ago, I got an email from my agent, who is wonderful and amazingly committed and supportive.

It is so difficult to judge timing etc for applications right now. We need to find an offer for you as soon as possible and I have someone who might be interested in the Home Health side at the moment and am waiting for their response to your resume’.

My opinion is that you should do what you need to do in order to survive in South Africa for at least another year to 18 months judging from the current INS priority dates.

Well. That was a blow and no mistake. Part of my need for this to happen relates to the fact that in many ways we are living 'in limbo' - not really wanting to get too deeply into anything here but not able to get involved in anything over there either. My son who is graduating from high school in Dec this year has registered for a one year Foundation course in 2008, with a view to continuing his education when we get to the States. My daughter goes into Grade 10 next year - we'd hoped she'd be able to start senior high in the US not here, as the curricula are very different. I've been marking time with several part-time jobs, gradually distancing myself from friends, not dating and wrestling with existential crises, lol!

More importantly, though, with the upcoming move in mind, I recently accepted an offer on my house, made by dear friends who plan to sell their own large home and renovate my smaller home into a comfortable retirement property. The deal isn't done yet--they have to sell before it can go through. But with my son moving out in Jan (he'll probably live with his dad for 2008, which will be great for them and will mean easier access to college for him), I'd planned to rent something really small and easy to maintain for my daughter and myself. Put the money from the house sale into the bank and let the interest fund the rental property. That still seems like a good plan.

But here's the biggie: In many ways, I've felt like I've really wasted time the last year or so. Not doing much writing. Not developing career-wise, just getting by with not very challenging part-time work. Not doing anything constructive at all, really. Just drifting along, gathering dust, getting depressed (and indulging in a lot of comfort eating!) Now I suddenly have a large chunk of time up ahead for which I have no specific plans. A year to a year and a half.. maybe even two, who knows?

I could carry on drifting, waiting, dreaming, eating, reading, blogging etc etc.

OR I could take hold of this time and make it productive.

So I started thinking about all the things I've often thought of doing, if I had the time and money. And I made a list, including the serious and the silly (and I'm very open to more suggestions!):

1. Do an MFA in creative writing
   
2. Get a personal trainer and get into shape
3. Study primary health care, useful for advanced nursing practice in the US
   
4. Audit courses in a subject that interests me … science, philosophy, literature, cosmology
5. Write, produce and direct a short movie
6. Study naturopathy or homeopathy
   
7. Plan, train for and do some kind of challenging trip eg the Otter Trail, or cycling from here to Durban (yeah, and get murdered along the way? No thanks! ;-) Maybe somewhere outside SA would work though ....
   
8. Buy a video camera and learn to use it
9. Buy a good digital camera and do a digital photography course
10. Join an amateur dramatic society and get involved in a few plays
    
11. Do a course in counselling e.g. LifeLine or similar
    
12. Do a basic paramedic course and volunteer part time with CMR
13. Do a course in therapeutic massage or reflexology
    
14. Learn to speak French
15. Learn to play a musical instrument, eg violin, cello
16. Learn a new software package, eg InDesign
17. Take up bellydancing or paragliding or rockclimbing or microlighting - something that stretches me mentally and physically
    

Now I'm doing the research, looking into everything, doing the financial calculations, thinking hard, dreaming big. If it works out, the gray cloud of delay could have a shiny silver lining and this might just be the midlife sabbatical year I've often dreamt of taking.