God? Where are you?

“O my God, deep calls unto deep. The deep of my profound misery calls to the deep of your infinite mercy.” Bernard of Clairvaux

“God, where are you!?

What have I done to make you hide from me? Are you playing cat and mouse with me or are your purposes larger than my perceptions? I feel alone, lost, forsaken.

You are the God who specializes in revealing yourself. You showed yourself to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. When Moses wanted to know what you looked like, you obliged him. Why them—and not me?
I am tired of praying.
I am tired of asking.
I am tired of waiting.

But I will keep on praying and asking and waiting because I have nowhere else to go.”

Taken from Richard Foster’s book Prayer – finding the heart’s true home

I’m walking in a fog at present, living somewhere between hope and despair. There is too much in life for me to cope with right now, and God seems absent. Stone cold, granite-faced, not-there … and the only way I know to deal with it is to try and write it down. I barely have the energy to do even this, so when I read the above this morning, I thought it would at least be a place to start.